I see my mom quite a few days a week. Because my mission, the last 20 years, has been to to provide the highest quality of life possible to person's with Alzheimer's Disease, I think I should "walk the talk". A few weeks ago, however, I was with Mom and we were watching "Hard Ball" on MSNBC. Mom and I were talking about politics as we watched. Mom's two of loves, in terms of conversation, were politics and sports. Mom can carry on a a great conversation at times, but in the middle of the conversation that night, she started calling out/yelling HELP HELP! Now this is not unusual and it is not ordinarily disturbing. It is what it is, part of the disease. However this had been a tough day, also Mom was not having a great day and neither was I. So I said what, of course you should never say, "Mom if you are going to continue to yell I am going to have to leave". Now that seems heartless in retrospect, but it was how felt at that moment. Mom paused for a moment, turned her head toward me and asked, "Why do you think I do that"?
Now I do talk to her upon occasion about her Dementia/Alzheimer's Disease. Not this night, however. I simply said, "I don't know Mom"
She was silent for a few seconds and then turned to me and said, "do you suppose it could be my dementia?" Well I was blown away!! I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes! I finally said "maybe Mom, maybe"
The rest of the evening felt different! A good laugh can change so much. It turned out to be the gift that keeps on giving as I have told a number of my friends and family and it always brings a smile to their face. I am smiling now as I tell "our" story. Okay, I am not a perfect daughter", but after a good laugh, I could forgive my self.
So keep smiling and enjoy what you can. Thanks for listening to our tale. May god keep you in the palm of his hand.
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What a lovely first post. I'm looking forward to following your experiences with your mother. How lucky you both are that her sense of humor remains intact. I remember a night earlier in my mother's battle when she left her nursing home bed to search room to room for my late father. I was summoned at 1 a.m. to calm her. She asked me why I was there, and I told her and then explained that she was having memory problems. A few minutes later, she asked again...and again...and again. Then she smiled and said: "I didn't know you were here. I must be having trouble with my memory." Mission accomplished, though somewhat obliquely.
ReplyDeletevery nice.
ReplyDeleteVery enlightening story..
ReplyDeleteI agree with Lynnie the Poos. A very touching story. My mom also has dementia. Every now and then a window opens and we can see her. The other day was one of the first she allowed herself to express surprise and fear that she couldn't remember doing something. Oddly, she had managed to remember something that I had forgotten. When she is frightened about losing her memory, I just tell her that we are all losing our memories and we have to back each other up.
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