As the Disease Progresses

I just returned from a very short cruise to Nassau. For the last few years, when I have traveled, Mom has given me a hard time, a subtle but plain message that she missed me and I should not leave her again. 3 years ago my sister, my niece and I went to Ireland to meet some of our relatives and do a genealogy hunt. Upon landing in O'Hare I received a voice mail that Mom had gone to our home town with one of her friends and reserved a room at an an assisted living facility there (40 miles from the facility which our family owns and she was now living). We worked it out, but I have come to expect some grief when I get home after traveling!!

You can well imagine what I was expecting when I returned Monday. However, it was like I have never left. Even today she acted as though I had never been away. I should be thankful, but it is so very different. I can't say I miss it, but when you have lived with something for a number of years it feels almost like something is gone. A part of the loss however, is the fact that Mom is progressing and she not longer misses me. I, of course, knew this was coming. There have been many small things she is losing, her ability to carry on a conversation, her ability to feed herself. These, somehow were easier to accept. I don't have too much teaching to do tonight-only sharing. This is tough disease and sometimes those of us who share it with our loved ones are hit hard-kind like a punch in the gut. I have no humor tonight, no insight, just an understanding for those of you who are suffering.

May God Hold You in the Palm of Her Hand.