"I Love You" and other Alzheimer's Positives

When I contemplated doing a Blog and feature my Mom, about a year ago, I discussed the idea with her, at the level I thought she could understand. When she said that it was a good idea, I asked her what I should write about. She looked me right in the eye and said "tell them we love each other." I need to remind everyone reading this Blog that I grew up hearing "I love you" very sparingly' not because my parents did not love us, but in the 50's this was said out loud much less than we now say it; just a sign of the times. It was very "cool" to hear Mom choose that topic.

That was a year ago, and Mom has progressed in her disease, but it gets even better. Now if things aren't going well, I can put on a big smile and and look at her squarely and in a few seconds she will say, "I love you". I never thought I would have a instant way to get my "love fix." Now I will say, Mom says "I love you" to others, not infrequently.

I could get bummed out about this, but, I have chosen to look at it as "Mom has a lot of love to go around, and after all I know she really does love me." The other question is why does she do this. Of course, we cannot know exactly why someone with Alzheimer's disease, does what it is they do. We cannot ever know why anyone does what they do, but there are a few clues. Mom always loved being the "healer", loved being the person that others "feel good." I believe this is her attempt to make me feel good, feel loved. Even though Mom is quite debilitated her basic personality is showing through in this gesture. This is often true in the behaviors of people with Alzheimer's. Their basic personality shows through if we are patient enough and creative enough to figure it out. I would encourage everyone to find the patience and creativity to do this, it is very rewarding.

Thanks, good night and may God hold you in the palm of Her hand.