Sunday, February 14, 2010

They Just Say "No"

I had breakfast with Mom this AM. When I have breakfast with Mom, I always get her coffee after we are finished. Today I asked her if she would like some coffee, and she said "No". I then, realized I needed to take my own advise-never ask a Yes /No question as people with Dementia/Alzheimer's Disease will almost always say No. I then got her coffee with milk and sweetener-The Irish way-she immediately started drinking it and said this is "great coffee."

Although this seems counter intuitive, it was quite predictable. I always tell our team members, "our residents with Dementia say no for a living" and the research supports this supposition. If the person says No, nothing is expected and this comfortable. If the person says Yes, they know at some level, that they may be required to do something and this is not comfortable. After lots of "No, don't do that", "stop, you are going the wrong way" and other failures, No is the most comfortable response.

It is important that those of us who care for and love someone with Dementia/Alzheimer's disease, that we need to approach the choice factor differently. If ,for instance, Mom had refused to drink the coffee, that would have been fine. This is Mom's level of ability to choose. Choice can be overwhelming to those with progressed disease, but by adapting and modifying choice, to the level the person can successfully tolerate, everyone can enjoy the interaction more and person with the diease will have the ability to chose and feel successful.

May God Keep you in the palm of Her hand!!