Death and The Truth an Alzheimer's Dilema

My uncle recently died. He was 90. He and my aunt (my Mom's sister) lived in an assisted living across town. He "took care" of my aunt Marie in the assisted living every day. She has quite profound dementia and as it is so often the case, his health was seemingly fairly good for 90, but he passed first. As I went over to Mom's assisted living, I weighed telling Mom the truth or just leaving her in peaceful ignorance. I decided to give her the news. Upon telling her of uncle Merit's death she said "many of us are dying these days aren't we"? She did not seem upset just reflective.

It is often a dilemma as to delivering "bad news". Is it better to tell the person with Dementia and potentially up set them or not tell them and have them not fully understand what is going on in the world around them. There is no right or wrong answer as whether we should tell someone with dementia or not. The reality is people with dementia forget. If they become upset with the news of a death for instance, but the reality is they will probably forget. If it was upsetting, it is probably best not to repeat the information. You have informed the person, but there is no need to force them to relive the event over and over. If however they were not upset you may want to tell them more than once. Again there is no right or wrong answer. Listening to your heart will show you they way.